okay, so I am here now, trying to update my blog while waiting for my pictures to be uploaded at the photobucket.
Cause it sucks when I tried uploading here. Didn't went to school today again. Most probably was because of cross country and mainly because of swollen eyes. It's still swollen now I guess?
I don't know when will it be okay, I don't know when will it heals.. Just like my heart.
Is reading notsosecretlives.com now, & the words jesse used really did made me feel something.
Perhaps she was in the wrong too, but I feel that I could seriously feel her. Hahaha. Much thoughts.
Alrights it feels oh-so-miserable having to spend today all by myself, especially a day I didn't went to school.
Fine, it's not that I haven't been spending days alone all by myself. But, it's raining now, and once again, I'm stuck in
this 5 room flat all being alone again. I know it feels so not being me, but I really need a shoulder..
From yesterday till today, I can't get over it. Perhaps, I wouldn't have thought that this day would come.
The day where i really would like to think about whether I still wanna keep it going on & stuffs.
I think I need a eye mask soon.
However, it'd only make me feel more miserable. Telling myself how much dropped.. Gave me time to think,
however I really don't wanna think................ i.feel.miserable.
Much hopes for that nothing happened yesterday, but I know it's oh so difficult to. I feel like giving up everything.
once. and. for. all.
If I know I could be destroyed just in a few seconds, if I knew you could hurt me more than my parents could,
if I knew I wouldn't be able to withstand anything anymore.
I wouldn't had requested. For all the things I requested, for all the time
I haven't been asking for more, for all the time I tried changing, for all the chances, for all the tears, for all the ups
and downs I had to go through alone, for the future, for the promises. once. and. for. all.
I really wanna go on with my life. my.
it's been long, way to longggggggggggggggggggggg.
Alone, during a rainy day = miserable.
i.need.a.warm.shoulder.Ok