Friday, April 23, 2010

Decisions to be made, it's what I don't want.

okay, so I am here now, trying to update my blog while waiting for my pictures to be uploaded at the photobucket.
Cause it sucks when I tried uploading here. Didn't went to school today again. Most probably was because of cross country and mainly because of swollen eyes. It's still swollen now I guess?
I don't know when will it be okay, I don't know when will it heals.. Just like my heart.

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Photobucket


Is reading notsosecretlives.com now, & the words jesse used really did made me feel something.
Perhaps she was in the wrong too, but I feel that I could seriously feel her. Hahaha. Much thoughts.

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Photobucket

Alrights it feels oh-so-miserable having to spend today all by myself, especially a day I didn't went to school.
Fine, it's not that I haven't been spending days alone all by myself. But, it's raining now, and once again, I'm stuck in
this 5 room flat all being alone again. I know it feels so not being me, but I really need a shoulder..
From yesterday till today, I can't get over it. Perhaps, I wouldn't have thought that this day would come.
The day where i really would like to think about whether I still wanna keep it going on & stuffs.
I think I need a eye mask soon.
However, it'd only make me feel more miserable. Telling myself how much dropped.. Gave me time to think,
however I really don't wanna think................ i.feel.miserable.

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Much hopes for that nothing happened yesterday, but I know it's oh so difficult to. I feel like giving up everything.
once. and. for. all.
If I know I could be destroyed just in a few seconds, if I knew you could hurt me more than my parents could,
if I knew I wouldn't be able to withstand anything anymore.
I wouldn't had requested. For all the things I requested, for all the time
I haven't been asking for more, for all the time I tried changing, for all the chances, for all the tears, for all the ups
and downs I had to go through alone, for the future, for the promises. once. and. for. all.
I really wanna go on with my life. my.

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it's been long, way to longggggggggggggggggggggg.

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Photobucket

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Alone, during a rainy day = miserable.

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Photobucket

i.need.a.warm.shoulder.Ok

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Perfect couple, just not the perfect situation.


Old pictures. ):

Been so long since I took picture, so please bear with me! hahaha.
Yay for nuffnang working well for my blog! Managed to have the next ads without stopping much! Yay!
Hmm, I think school has been alrights. Well chinese class has been changed. Hopefully, for the better and to improve myself till I get A1 , and manange to shut bernard's mouth up about my poor chinese or whatsoever. Whatever it is, am determined to score better than him, and get many presents. Not to forget my sony vaio if I managed to have 3 aces. hahaha. Suppose to do homework today, till I realise I would have like 2 periods of free time before maths tomorrow. Hence, I shall do it then. Been tired lately, have been like waking up at 5am, and trying my best to go back to dreamland, but failed to do so. ): Why is life torturing my sleep?! Hai!

Alrights, when I wanna blog, I realise I do not have anything to blog, however, to keep my nuffnang going on, I shall do it. Yay for coming 16 as I wanna go seesee the KSuites! School has been killing me. I don't wanna end up having naps everyday. ): Or skipping lessons anymore. But how to? hai. I WANNA WATCH REC2. But it's M18, shall wait till the movie is out on computer, and enjoy the horror movies. Hahaha. Hopefully, it'd be a thrilling one & I'll have a fun time scaring myself.

Sometimes in life, it isn't all about what you want. It's all about what you need.
But everytime we are blinded by what we want, and forgot about anyone elses feelings.

Life is about being accepted or changed. What if you changed and could not be accepted?

There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction.
But are you?